I was thinking back a little over four years ago when I thought I was broken beyond repair. ( Thankfully I have a Savior who thought otherwise) I was a new member who couldn't find their place. I was 26 and divorced. My friend who was like a protective momma bear urged me to go to the single's ward because she was worried I would fall away if I continued how I was. Against how I felt, I went. What I realized was many people were my age or in similar situations and I felt a sense of belonging. It only took a couple weeks before my friends were trying to set me up. I love them dearly, but they had no idea what I had been through and what I was working on. I was in no position to date! But one evening I met a funny, charming, good looking man who would change my life forever. This blog is about him.
It didn't take long for me to realize Clint loved the gospel and had a deep love for his Heavenly Father as well as Jesus Christ. Some things I learned about him: he served a two year mission, he attended church every Sunday, he had never tasted alcohol or any other substance covered under the Word of Wisdom, I hadn't heard him cuss or seen him angry, he hadn't dated much (which means no crazy exes), he opened my car door, he was temple worthy, and he kept the law of chastity.I don't mention these things to brag about him or embarrass him, but only to make a point in this blog. I remember telling my friends about him and all these qualities. One friend who is not a member then said, "what the heck is he Jesus?" At the time I laughed it off and said something along the lines of pretty close. But then this statement got me thinking: did I deserve someone like this? I had a hard time following most of these things, I cussed like a sailor, I had dated tons and was easily angered. Honestly, even for the first year of our marriage I was waiting for the bottom to fall out. There was no way someone like him could love someone like me. Sure Clint isn't perfect and has some things that make me turn into a crazy lady, but what I have learned over the years is I do deserve to be loved by him. Although I was struggling I was working to repent and change that is what Heavenly Father asked of me. The thing about Clint is he loves me with a Christ-like love. He didn't see me as the broken woman I was. He didn't see the sins, the bad traits I hadn't shed. What he saw was a daughter of God. That is exactly who I am. I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me unconditionally. He loved me enough to trust me with Clint. Clint had tried his very best to have many Christ-like traits and Heavenly Father knew I needed someone like that. At the time I was so focused on my past that I didn't even notice the love Heavenly Father had for me then. He didn't send me another trial or someone to judge me. He sent me someone who would love me as close to the way He loved me. That is what I've realized as I have been preparing for this marriage class. We all deserve to be loved like Heavenly Father loves us. No matter where we are in life we can change and be better. Like I said in my class I hope to one day be like my husband and even more so be like Jesus Christ. That is why we are here, to become more Christlike and endure to the end. I have such a strong testimony of this and His love for me. This realization has made me want to be better because what better way to show my thanks for Clint. I need to be more Christ-like and provide the same kind of love as a way to show I am thankful for all He has done. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
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